illuminated lifestyle — The Female Grail with Durga Holzhauser
Category: illuminated lifestyle


The backstage story

Some weeks ago I tapped deeply into the big Question: “What am I here for, and why was I was meant to be born? I am ready.”

The process simultaneously activated a countermovement of feelings. Instead of standing up to grasp the big vision of my soul, the opposite happened: I withdrew, back on my couch positioned like a cat, frozen. My body stiffened and I felt incapable of making the next move.

As an energy seer, I untangle my cover stories quickly. Sitting on my sofa I could see my emotional light body around me crystal clear. I myself found trapped in a paralyzed state of mind and my emotional light body stood still, paralyzed too. An arctic palace around me reflected emotions of the Ice Queen when I asked, “how do I want to feel?”

Completely fascinated by my own visible aura, I reached out and touched the light body with my fingertips and felt a membrane structure of patterns there, in textures and knots like another skin about 50 centimeters (20 inches or so) from my physical body. I know about the emotional body, and now I was in the middle of an interactive movie, seeing it. Eckhart Tolle calls it the pain body. This body is making us feel. But it is more. It vibrates with the resonance and information that comes into our space, and it gives us feedback about what is near. This light body also swings into action when cosmic light information is coming in for us.

When left unconscious the emotional body is like a garage filled with memories, neutral and flavorless, simply potential. Good things and bad things are stored up in boxes ready to vibrate when a similar energy comes around. It can evoke fear when we step into bravery or freeze when old traumas are resurfaced in our memory, even if those experiences are long past.

That day my pain body was activated with the data of old memories.
It shut me down.

We all have it. Emotional body pain, or fear stored in our pain body, affects our lives and can render us unable to move or act.

But there’s good news.

Fear is shifted by love twitter

We have a deep longing for fearless living. We aim for the higher self.
Change your past-embracing memories into future-building energy.

Let me tell you the truth.
When you tap into the powerful dream of your soul, it will frighten you to death because right then you are at the core of your own prophesy.

This is where some people start their personal fires. And many stop there, and leave the work behind.

But we are now willing to remember our dream in heaven, knowing it will change our lives.
 Maybe when we were 6 years old we knew it; when we were 16 we thought everything was possible.

And maybe the world around us became so loud then that we disconnected from it. Now we need to go back to the time before we stopped knowing.

It’s your time to call out your soul. Here’s what I did when I was frozen in my pain body.

The Shifting Visualization

I sat there and focused on my heart.
The heart chakra is the source of liquid love.

I let this liquid love pour out of my heart and take on the color and quality it wanted.

I expanded the light love so it covered all my emotional body from inside.
(Imagine it is all around your body)

I melted the frozen parts with love.
I steamed over the patterns and structures and watched them dissolve.

I kept on going until my emotional body was free, flexible and expansive like the open sky.
My emotional body became a soft liquid membrane made of a porous material for traveling light.

I want to show you how to turn the frozen state into fluid emotions.

Try this.
Easily wipe fear away.

Unplug from fear.

Reach out your fingers and feel the texture around you.
Feel the patterns with landscapes of your soul’s memories filled with sound, color and scents.

Scan this body. Feel whether it’s fluid or frozen.

Let your heart pour out the most compelling fluid of persuasive love.
It will spread over the emotional body and melt it into wholeness.
It may have any color and light tone, even beyond our color palate. Celestial.

Take time for this.
It may take days or weeks to melt down.
You will feel how it comes back to fluidity.
And you will come to a new state of mind.

Connect to your reality.
The feelings of the past and the old data do not need to affect you.

We are always free to love.

Love is presence. Not future. Not past. @agni

Fear is with us all the time.
We confuse fear with reality. But this is an illusion.

We are now ready to understand that we are made of stardust; we are made of energy and light. When we are unplugged from the noise of fear, it’s easier to face this reality:

We always have the truth to be our authentic self.



Presence is important. The power of your divine existence lies in the power of now. If you want to live your dreams and see your vision to fruition, the unique frequency of YOU is crucial.

I want to offer you my daily meditation to keep the expansion of yourself alive, so that you can live your life from your soul and your brightest light.

This meditation is a 2-minute instant recharger. You can do it everywhere and anytime: in your car, under the shower, before or after yoga. Your soul is omnipresent, and you can help anchor her where she lives.

So let’s do it together, right now.

Standing preferred. Stand for yourself.
Breathe in and out. Do not force or change it.
Feel the energy of light streaming through your whole body.
Aliveness fills every cell of you.

Let your soul-light shine from every cell in your body.

Your Presence

Now feel your aura in front of you.
Anchor a light marker to feel your space in front of you.
Fill it with soul presence. This is not about expansion; it’s about compression of your existing energy. Sense your light vibrating.
“My soul presence is before me.”
This is your future. This is where you are going.

Next feel your aura behind you.
Anchor a light marker to feel your space behind you.
Fill it with soul presence. It may be unfamiliar, but feel how good it is back yourself up with the love of your soul presence. Your light is vibrating. Lean into your soul-light.
“My soul presence is behind me.”
This is your past. This is where you come from.

Next feel your aura to the left of you.
Anchor a light marker to feel your space on your left side.
Fill it with soul presence.
“My soul presence is on my left side.”

And feel your aura to the right of you.
Anchor a light marker to feel your space on your right side.
Fill it with soul presence.
“My soul presence is on my right side.”

You stand balanced for who you are.

This is the moment to expand above your head.
Anchor your space in the freedom of heaven, the universe, God.
Fill it with soul presence. Feel protected and guided.
This is where your soul comes from.
“My soul presence is rooted in heaven.”

Ground your soul down into the earth.
Anchor your space in safe streams of earth, the creation, the fruitful mother.
Fill it with soul presence. Feel desired and loved.
“My soul presence is grounded in the earth.”
You are home.

Your heart pulsates.
You are here, now.

Walk with the presence.
Check in a couple of times a day.
Strengthen your frequency.

We all want you.
You are the love of your soul.
This is our prophecy.

I will meet you here.
So simple and easy.



Redefine your feminine leadership.

12 SPOTS. 5 DAYS. 

Universes of possibility.


in La Lumière, South France

Your time has come to rise
as a feminine leader.

From June 7th to 11th we are gathering an exclusive group of visionary women to open a sacred symposium of new feminine power. Together we articulate and co-create feminine leadership. We seed our own permaculture to synergize money and real embodied spiritualty.

Are you a leader with a new idea, a souldream, a mother, a boss, an entrepreneur, female, male or divine? We need you.

my INVITATION is for you.

: Get initiated into Shakti powers of this Universe and learn how to bring them into your leadership: Durga, Lakshmi, Kali in rituals for daily life.

: Tell us about your life dream and present your visionary work.
Meet other visionary leaders.

: Receive inspiration for your personal wholeness and wellness in the 100% organic Nature Spa and cooking classes. We care for you, lavishly.

: We will reframe patterns of leadership in sacred conversations.

I will guide you through these days. I offer my sacred communication to the world of spirits to ferry answers about new patterns of time and soul presence.

We begin our experience together online, when you will receive a sacred journey workbook and it will continue 14 days after you leave to integrate your new leadership into your life.

This program is yours.

The cost: 3000 Euros
For more information please click here.

Bring your best friend

We think BFF-ship is divine. We invite you to dive into feminine leadership with her by your side. You know who we mean: she who is there when you cry, when you are lost and when you triumph. We believe women friends must raise each other up, and in honor of that we offer a twin set.

4.500 Euro for both of you. That’s 2250 Euro apiece, a 750 Euro discount.

This offer is open through May 1st.

Read here about the creative, the inspirational, and the sensual experience that’s waiting for you.

To sweeten the pot, I will offer you personalized spiritual readings that inform your leadership style and awareness. (All readings are completely optional, only if you wish.)

I’m offering a reading to identify and describe…

Who are your power animals?
: For your leadership
: For your wisdom
: For your feminine power

Which 3 past incarnations most influence your leadership today?

What Goddess accompanies you in your current life situation? How can you contact her more deeply to lead?

The feminine leader initiated:
timely and crucial.

We must do better. Our world is masculine-dominated in terms of money, leadership, the steep gaps between rich and poor, between the sustainable and destructive. No longer can we rely on safety nets to catch us. The crisis of the world is everywhere, but it opens fields of possibilities.

What is the missing link to turn this world around?

The feminine voice of leadership. She has not yet evolved in her power to create change. That’s where we come in, together.

What can you expect?

This is where spiritual leaders and business mavens gather to give birth to new visions of feminine leadership. We ignite a sacred communication about nurturing the baby roots of empowerment. Together. We want to spark impactful change, not by fighting the status quo but by building parallel worlds.

You want to reconnect with yourself and the right people?
You want more spirituality and creativity for your soul?

: Is it mine?
: Is it my time?

Yes. We are so looking forward to seeing you.

For more information and for booking your place please click here.




When I started to wonder about the visibility of what we think and feel, I began to see – but mostly smell – myself and others (this is sometimes how I perceive energies). Though invisible to most, I saw thoughts coming out like bubbles from the solar plexus, or cloudy blue impregnable castles around the front chakra, or golden peaceful streams of Buddha-like emanations.

I became curious and playful.

What if…

What if I start to follow my thoughts and spy on what they look like?

Thoughts can be golden honey running down your body like an orgasm.
Thoughts can be sharp knives, cutting and puncturing.
Thoughts can go retrograde and push us around like thunderbirds.
Or thoughts can pull down energies till everything just sucks.

What we think has sound; the waves reach beyond distance.
What we think is perfumed with soul. The scent of thoughts can be like fresh heaven, fertile earth or the stink of disconnection.

What we think colors our orientation.
What we think creates thought-fabrics with patterns and shapes, like a second skin in our astral aura ornamented with personal tattoos. These are powerful symbols.

Thoughts are powerful vibrations we send out into this world. twitter

What if…

What if we use thoughts as potions?

We send thoughts out into the world like an armed dragon, riding upon the waves of chaos and through color explosions amid the greyish collective clouds of sad energies.

How to turn your thoughts into beautiful blossoms.
Make potions for a better life.

Find yourself in a delirium of soul-awakening scents, pulling them down. Let their color orient your life. Sniff around for the fragrance of the way you want your thoughts to make you feel.

for the
What is the perfume and the color? Dive into the fairyland of hibiscus summer nights, heavy oriental Indian summer evenings, fresh drizzling grassland and ask the kingdom of beyond for a Remedy that make you feel good, successful, abundant.

Feel around for the sensuously pervasive experience of conjuring up the burning, earthy, airy and liquid thoughts leading to a great creation. Choose thoughts that roll with your desired state for goal setting.

Start the movement with me.

My money thoughts smell like pollen tickling my nose, freshly fallen from the fragranced sari of Lakshmi. twitter

My money thoughts smell like roses and amber. Breathe in, break the barriers. Go free. twitter

My spiritual thoughts smell like premium red Bordeaux wine, filled with red obsession. twitter

My perseverance thoughts smell like pineapple and cinnamon: warm, exotic and exquisite. twitter

My spiritual normcore (normal + hardcore) thoughts smell like woods, roots, rinds and fresh pine needles. My toes sink into the texture. twitter

My enlightening thoughts smell like uplifting citrus and euphoric clary sage. twitter

My loving thoughts smell like a clove + cinnamon + cardamom orgasm on my palate. twitter

My paradoxical thoughts smell like crystallized water, clearing my brain. twitter

My contradictory thoughts smell like geranium. I want to be seduced. twitter

“A gourmet mind protects from the poison of dark thoughts.”

Now tell me, beloved.

: I want my thoughts to feel like…



I must say I am indignant. Now that the New Age community has learned all the spiritual vocabulary, some people think they can throw it around carelessly.

So tweets like:

“May Karma take care of it,” shock me. Really.

Attention warning-k

“Karma is a bitch. She might kick you in the ass instead.” twitter

Name-calling or blaming the Gods of the law of Karma is the worst thing to do: you’re opening a new threat with Karma. It will immediately “fire back.” Moreover, you need to consider if perhaps your own Karma plan is activated. And…

: Ask deeper

Why is this my life?
How did I attract this?
Why did I create it?

You made the call first.

Everything in your life is made by you.

You created it on a level you may have forgotten. Our obliviousness is a blessing and curse.

We are not powerless victims; we are powerful creators of our destiny.
Which we can change in one instant with the right enlightening insight.
One slip into the ocean of the divine is enough to dissolve burdens of our souls.

Look, Karma is the law of reaction.

What we seed, we will harvest.

Once in India I was told a story that made the Law of Karma so transparent for me:

In Tibet they say, “If you walk by a beggar and look at him with pity you risk being a beggar in your next life.”

What is the teaching?

First: Karma is not a punishment.
Karma is the glue that holds the universe together. It creates gravity that holds us on earth and makes sure the sun rises each and every day.

Second: What we think is what we create.
So our thoughts are seeds. twitter
A good dharma is to just follow all your thoughts through the day and ask yourself: Where will you lead me? twitter

Third: Most do not remember their former lives, and they do not understand their implications for today.
We all have a story older than this life.
“There is no saint without a past. There is no sinner without a future.“ – Babaji

So I wonder,
before we curse others with subtle judgment or even cursing Karma…

… we should remember

In the end it is all about how much we are willing to love.
In the end it is all about how much we are willing to grant generosity.
In the end it is all about how much we are in the bliss of gratitude.



In this period we are embryonic. Cocooning our souls in warming spheres. “Let me know you,” the secret whispers. We have a feeling of breaking apart. But we are falling into completion.

9 months from now.

The greening of society, the promising new world, our rebirth into light is to come. Like expectant parents, we now modify our lives and the world. We should now select our worn-out dreams and offer them to the seas of forgiveness. We should hold steady the images of dreams still unfulfilled for a coming green wash of visual correction. And the dreams still to come are spots of light that have an umbilical cord. Encapsulated, loved.

we are-1


Three days ago I broke apart. My sciatic nerve flushed the pain into my head and my bones. Three sleepless nights and deeper questions.

I know we are all phoenixes. We are made of fire and we burn into ashes and rise into our sacred inner landscapes. My nesting instinct must trust itself even more. When I try to sleep my body whispers: “I will not hurt you anymore. I am giving birth to a new femininity.”

we are-2

A 9-month pregnancy of our world and us.

We will correct our society. We will transform and rise. Layer by layer.

Like caterpillars
We cocoon
We must dissolve and nearly destroy ourselves.
We will raise our light for this world to come.
Shining iridescent
Sensorial embodies’ imagination.
It’s marked. From now.

This week

“Non-healed wants finally can be allowed to heal.
It may now heal without breaking first.
If we do resist healing now, it must break to heal afterwards.” Agni

Let us be gentle with each other. Our wings are still soft and vulnerable.


we are-3

Feel deep enough

“We have the courage to face the reality of time
and allow us to feel deeply enough
that it transforms our future.” Chris Jordan


Read More · March 16, 2014 · · illuminated lifestyle, most popular


In my world, and according to my cosmic understanding and living, there is no waste. To each question, problem or search, there is one solution, answer or remedy. It fits like the right top on the pot and the correct screw into its winding.

You are looking for an A to a burning Q?
You need to optimize your spiritual search machine.

You need to spirit Google.

The secret is the filter
you use to tap into the right level.

Ask yourself first:

: Can I solve it within myself? Level A

: Is the solution in the spiritual world? Level B

: Is another person the keeper of my answer? Level C

: Is mother earth the voice of my search? Level D

: Does nature hold my solution? Level E

Trust your sacred heartbeat: it drums when you hit the Jackpot.
And mark with an OM where applicable following your inner trust of knowing.

If your answer is on Level A:

You will find your solution within.
You need to go deeper; ask which chakra level provides the answer.
Dive inside into the corresponding chakra landscape, and receive. Send your Q out into the color and set it free to flow back to you.
(You do not know what chakras are? I can help. Leave a note below.)

If your answer is on Level B:

You will find your grace in your prayer.
Pray for a soulful insight.

For advanced spiritual questioners:
Identify which spiritual experts are your team:
God, Archangels or Angels, Ascended Masters, Fairies and Devas.
They are all connected, so if you hit the wrong mailbox they will lovingly forward your request to the mavens of what you need to know.

For example
One of my Fengshui Clients prayed to Archangel Michael. One day while watching TV I had a clear image that her house was charged with divorce energy of separation. I hesitated to write her; she is a celebrity. I did it anyway. She answered immediately and asked me to help her. As Archangel Michael got the demand on his desk, he knew I was the expert in this field and I would notice and respond to his request.

If your answer is on Level C:

Ask yourself, who is the expert who can help me find the right answer?
Get help. Pay for value exchange and honor how much the time and money your consultant and expert saved you.

If your answer is on Level D:

Lay yourself down on the soil of our Mother in nature, full body extended. Breathe with her. Let her warm energy weave into your body. Let her heart drum pulse your cells. Fill her with your love and grace and make your request, devoted and respectfully. Then do not be surprised how quickly she responds. Most humans keep her under serious underemployment.

If your answer is on Level E:

Fairies, Devas and nature are full of spirits. They helped manifest plant empires and minerals full of remedies. You were advised to address them? Dare to do it, and give them their due respect. Ask what they want from you. (They love presents and often ask me for black tea and rose petals. A friend of mine is always asked for sugar.) Ask where they want it, where the vortex is. Then ask for your solution. It may come in the form of a plant petal, a healing crystal or energies streaming towards you holding your A. It’s worth trying, my best advice comes from this world of magic.

So now go. Pose your Q.
Mark your level. Let it go. Receive fully.

And then come back and share your results in the comments below.

Wild love forever



Beyond all she does,
all she desires,
all she hopes,
she wants to express herself.

If she is stopped, she dies.
Each attempt to master her fails.
If she will not be found, she skids.

Rescued by design
The luxury of her soul

We can continue tirelessly along with all the names of she who made history.
She was called to her vocation, came as a creator of life.
She puts in all her concentration, all her soul, all her life.

After all this is the answer:
she puts in her endless time
for a rendezvous with her dream.

We wish her a year of highest creation.

Because creating her dream is as noble as founding a religion.

Dare your success.
Let your dreams rise from the dead.
To places where we are fully nourished.

Let’s dream.
Express yourself,
and embellish your pages.


Read More · March 3, 2014 · · illuminated lifestyle, most popular


(Walking the initiation path in shopping malls and ashrams, with champagne and feminism.)

My letter to this world.

… remember
your life began within a woman. We all were nestled in the womb. Life is always within a Mother. But women are more than mothers: wives, companions, sisters, friends, bitches, witches, princesses, fairies, mothers of culture and wonderful girls, creative fire priestesses, artists, girl warriors, marvels, igniters, women on fire, crones, goddesses and angels (feel encouraged to add your fantasy here, and dare to live it). Each woman is one of a kind!

Dear you, visions of a worldwide revolution make me write and teach. I craft with my fingers and hopes, faithfully offering a space for the future I want to belong to; meanwhile bees make a rural exodus and masses of people protest denial.

My prayer is clear. I raise a fierce feminine voice in a world that is ignorant of creation, in which we witness ruthless exploitation of nature, religious wars and politics without ethics. I want to start a new conversation of leadership. I will contribute my sacred voice; it lives inborn and is each woman’s birthright.

I do not want to change the world, but I must admit I like the end of the road. To find a way out of the crises we must nurture new ideas and make new moves.

Women today have a mission.
So do men, but our world lives in an old pattern of male domination. The feminine has been forgotten and role models of feminine leadership are now needed to take their seats in writing a new history of humanity together with men. Women have strong values and we need to use them to balance the end of the road of unnatural economics, politics and society.

The gospel of feminine leadership

Visions for the future.
10 years ago I spoke at big women’s conferences about my future vision, the rebirth of entrepreneurial women breaking the glass ceiling. Creating new space kills the status quo; the one who fights against the establishment is a single representative of the vast other side.

And today all over the world women create their own businesses; even secretaries have reinvented themselves as virtual assistants. The trend: Be your own boss, and create success on your own terms. Even more: Soulgoals for what we want most.

When I travel the word I know, women have different conditions in different countries, but whatever the circumstances are, women rise for freedom.

The feminine awakens and with her an energy-shifting change takes place that will shift our horizons in every part of life. “Beauty is the mother of all. For the sisterhood of God’s wild sisters.”

Add the sacred feminine

The female sources rise to cooperate with the masculine.
The feminine knows how to create with invincible power.
Transformation is past. Today we expand with evolution.

The goddess always has a niche to resurrect.

You are the world revolution.

Knitwork with the stream of creation.
Criss-cross the unbelievable.

Holy stream of light bumping your heartbeat
loudly to awaken universes.
You are the animating,
feeding power of life, the supreme light
in every being in every thing in every human.

We call you universe,
we call you Shakti,
we call you GreatMother.

The temple is your expression of completed contemplation.
Your sacred pattern weaves.

In your stream I have my place, my name.
You are unchangeable. Mandala.

Let me touch your texture with my fingertips.
Changeable quintessential.
Each moment was just born.

My mission is to bestow upon myself fulfillment.

I set my right intentions.
There will be stumbling blocks on my way.
Keep me alert.

Pave my way.



How my Mum inspired and changed my life forever.

I was 16 and my heart was broken. (It had to be cracked open in order to receive the initiation of life.) My Mum said, “When this boy leaves it is because someone far better for you is coming. This is life; anyone who does not match with your highest aim has to move on in order to find his own life and his right resonances. He opens the space for the right people to come in and surround you, to love you. God always wants the best for you and everyone. When something does not work out, it is because he has a better plan provided for you.”

Courage, not compromise, brings the smile of God’s approval.
– Thomas S. Monson

My Mum was right.

When I trust my life more than my pain and disappointment, things evolve most beautifully

: the man I love, the people I work with, the team I create with.

I must admit I have a childish heart. When people set me up or betray me, my heart is like a little puppy. My puppy heart swallows hard and I remember what Mum said. Head up and go.

And still: each and every time I begin by compromising for less than I truly require, I end up in dead ends. It’s like God pokes me with a soft finger saying: You are igniting another line of complications. And so it was when I refused to listen, creating a chain of complication to create more complications, on and on.

Because we only know what we know
it’s about listening to our soul
and what we want to improve.

We have been taught to live in positions of scarcity that obfuscate our thoughts, all in order to fit in. We swim in a sea of conformity builders, and we fear being alone. So we bow to a minor art.

Never compromise your culture.

If we want to create a contemporary cultural revolution, a common sacred energy flow for all people, we have to make strong decisions, all the while asking for our heart’s weigh-in and always with the aim of making our lives more happy.

: What do I really want to create?

: How do I want it?

: What do I love?

: How do I love it?

We must decide to fertilize our real relationships, our state of grace, and our cultures of quality – and not to compromise them.

First: Always stand for your own. Be joy.

So when we do flirt with compromises? We settle for less when we are afraid to stand for our own.

Instead, create your own festivals of life and bazaars of freedom; build new agreements and sacred structures that support you to be free, to be creation, essential innovation.

You will create a sustainable and profitable world only when you stand on your own sacred ground. There you have magic to give and to make … more magic.

Second: Always provide the sacred space
for others to find their path of true joy.

Networked webs of ideas and thoughts will never match the freedom provided by the clarity of the universal flow. And we are always free to step out when we cannot feel our clarity, our truth, or ourselves anymore.

Our heart needs to be cracked a million times until it’s totally free.

So we will leave our partners who cannot see us anymore. We will be betrayed and left alone. We will be disappointed, saddened and set up.

But we must grant their freedom and pray with love for the others to return to their sacred heart, to place where they feel their essence again and can heal.

We are responsible for each other’s highest aim.

I set them free.
My puppy heart sighs.
I listen to him.

“You will never be alone. Give up all worlds you do not belong to. Return to freedom.
I have a better plan for you…”


Read More · January 12, 2014 · · illuminated lifestyle, most popular