The Manifesto of Trust — The Female Grail with Durga Holzhauser

The Manifesto of Trust

post-manifest-trust

Trust creates space for others to walk in.
Then invest in their best, and give out bonuses.
Do it with your eyes wide open.

My first real boyfriend cheated on me. He went on tour with a school musical for two months and we did not see each other the whole time. I did not cheat. I was faithful.

I decided to trust anyway.
I would trust men in the future. As an investment. With risk.

It took me awhile to accept that my confident expectation of commitment was not met. But in the end it’s my loyalty to myself that makes the day run smoothly.

My father cheated on my Mum. He went so far as to introduce me to his new conquests, manipulating my trust. The women pretended to be my cool girlfriends as a ploy to turn me into their ally. It was only my instinct telling me: Something is wrong here. Does Mum know?

I did not want to be his accomplice, or theirs. I felt betrayed. We all deserve to be told the truth about situations others put us in, so that we may accept or reject the situation from our essence. Fabricated emotional settings blur our essence’s ability to discern safe ways to interact and connect. Swallow. I went on.

I decided to trust anyway.
I would trust women in the future. As an investment. With openness.

The ability to be vulnerable and open with fearless abundance saves me from drama. Stay with me on this one. People will play games and take part in their own dramas. Others do wrong things and they may hurt us.

But I will not shut down my heart, and I trust my instincts as I trust my future to carry me. I trust my openness to ask for the outrageous truth.

I started a new business with a French girlfriend. She cheated on me and ran off with 30,000 euros of my money. To make matters worse, the money I gave her was intended to pay our supplier. It was never paid, and left me looking shady too.

I decided to trust anyway.
I would trust the people I worked with in the future. As an investment. With healing.

We have met others millions of times in this and other lives. We ourselves have made good and bad memories for others. I want to pay my karma and move on.

There is no guarantee my business partners will be loyal. Even so, I want to be noble, and the most noble parts of me trust again and again, though it is sometimes a struggle.

It was the two of us, two women. We shared a common dream: to built an ashram, to lead others without compromise in freestyle spiritual life and mysticism. But she met a man and got pregnant. I love children and so I took this baby from heaven as part of my team. Then she got pregnant again and had no time for our dream.

I decided to trust anyway.
I would trust the women in my life. As an investment. Without any guarantees.

I still keep our dreams wide open for the healing of all women. We both had to admit that reality brought us back to the ground. We both agreed that we hadn’t found any solution to women’s challenge of balancing work and children. We both agreed that we know about our purpose, and either we can go for it or drop it.

I decide to trust anyway, after every heartbreak and rotten story. We all carry a memoir in miniature like a garment woven through with past dramas and disappointment. We all have these encoded stories of the delusions in our lives.

My soul craves clear space.
Doubt and suspicion are poisonous.
I do better to invest in trust and risk disappointment,
because I can recover from denial and letdown.
But I won’t ever love with a dark cloud of mistrust hanging over my head.
I would never recover if that poison filtered my heart.

Look, resilience doesn’t come from having guarantees.
Life comes with verifiable ugliness and multi-dimensional beauty.

I trust life.
Always with a free breath because of the millions of endorphins found in loyalty, nobility and breathtaking love.

Trust now. Trust in life. Not everything will be positively, life-affirmingly true.

Deciding to trust anyway is an investment that will become a bridge to possibility and sacred spaces that make us feel golden and good.

Create sacred space. Your investment. No pay backs.

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February 12, 2015 · · fiercely feminine, inspired truth, most popular