The Female Grail with Durga Holzhauser — New visions, business fire, and future trends.

I was raised Catholic but I rebelled from religious education at 14 when it slipped out of my mouth: “Mary was everything, but no Virgin.”

Filled with pride, my wild hot truth was saturated. My music teacher found me silently sitting in the church. Alone. She asked me: “What are you doing here?” I told her, “When the noisy thoughts of the people are gone, I can hear him talking.” I was 15.

Saints are for the church. But we are on the trail for an intimate and vivid relationship with Jesus Christ. He was a feminist, a revolutionary against the establishment and fraudulent political order, and an inspired spiritual activist. He was love and when one was on his radar it was impossible to resist his charm. His presence transformed us all.

This book had to be written. I was privileged to be the first person on this planet to read it. But before all that, I had to follow my own prophecy and re-meet Agni, the man I was married to by Jesus himself. He is my master and reminded me of all I know. He believed I could read the Akasha and threw me in the deep end. I was re-reading my own sacred chronicles.

You have to trust me. If you do, I can take you with me into my vulnerable story. I had to walk the unbelievable. I deliver the miracles I have lived. When I opened the first chapter I was reading the intimate and still new. Reading my story from the Akasha unshackled my memory. I desired it: the tastes, the textures and the moods. Now I remember it all. How it was.

Jesus The Book is my personal memories of Jesus’ real stories. Let me lend you my senses and feelings to read and watch Jesus The Book in 3D. Experience Jesus close up as never before. This book is my personal heart’s treasure. My prayers are out: May your personal Jesus rise.

Landing in the thick of this darkness shackled my emotions and cut my voice. For three months I refused to go back to the readings, from which our books are first recorded. I lacked not forgiveness but understanding. My beloved and heartfelt truth was reviled in those days and the life roots I planted in those soils was to be extinguished. I had to feel the hate leveled against me. I desired and suffered from my core, reliving this life in South France.

Death and suffering are woven into the very heart of this Universe. Dying as an act of living service to a greater community is an act of passion. The power to refuse to pass on suffering is our legacy from Jesus himself. We have to make big decisions. Today.

In spite of the wave of doubt in my heart I heard my name. I needed to know that this book would glue together the forgotten sacred history without letting it fall apart once again. That it would offer connection and comfort to our entrusted reader. We have the power of participation in this life on earth. Each of us has the power to make difference. The day I decided to “walk the pain” was the day I went back to our readings.

Even so, feeling alone is a suffering stigma on our immaculate heart. It teaches me to cross the boundaries and break the walls of my loss. Each page I was reading from heaven down to earth shredded my heart. I took the risk. I chose aliveness.

From 1244 in the last days of the Cathars, the legacy of Jesus The Forgotten Years was to build the bridge in a fading world of desperation. The teachings of Jesus and his God are still blooming in secret lands hidden away from the church. I read for the need of healing.

I walked through my memories of Mary Magdalene and me left alone in this land after Jesus’ crucifixion. We had to fight with a normal life, facing problems that women have still today. Mary Magdalene was pregnant. Jesus had survived and traveled to India. Mary Magdalene had to walk through her sadness. As women do for each other, I walked with her. Other women of the sacred circles came to join us. We supported each other there, trying to remember how to raise the light in a desperate world.

I had to walk this book. We have to stop to reserving our stories for special occasions. We rob others’ grace when hiding the art of pain. Big visions grow at the edges. When we stop wanting it all, it all begins. Love takes shape in the wild silence of destructive beauty.

One real reader is enough to affirm why you do what you do. Thank you Althea Treakle-Provost for offering me salvation when you posted this on Facebook:

“I grow tired of reading books the repeat the saga between the light and dark, and how the light must yield so the darkness may continue its power play. Even a short sentence that hints of such saga is enough for me to close the book and offer the symbolic yawn.

Today, I began to read your book on a Nook, a gift from Tim. Double blessings. Aleka, my daughter back from Costa Rica came into room, crawled into bed and unbeknownst to me was silently reading along. The page, just so happened to read in Oneness. Aleka offered her heart felt agreement. My heart felt the full measure of your words, as they mirror the depth within my heart. Thank you. A gift indeed.”