visions & prayers | The Female Grail with Durga Holzhauser
Category: visions & prayers

Why has to say farewell.

Why we need to peel old skins, to be born anew.


Beloved ones,

I wonder what is going on in your life and the lives of the ones you love and know.
Just right now in the life of my own beloveds and me, nothing is like it was.

It seems the old times are washing away their memories.
And we stand there partly confused and partly shivering in awe: What’s next?

So many of us will step into a new life. 
So many of us are watching their old lives die. And still I know we dreamed this together, when the time comes we strip off the old and dedicate our lives to creating the NEW.
But it’s not easy, when old structures and timelines vanish and nothing new is in sight.

My step into the new realm.

I took me months now, but last week my inner voice was clear. has become an old skin.
Trying to slip and fit into it again made me feel frustrated; it has lived its life and now it embodies the realization of yesterday’s dreams.


I measured the temperature, the indicator, and traced alignment with my inner guidance.

The background story:

October 2016, on the Sacred Lands of Cerillos/New Mexico

I helped many people to find their soulvision.
And I will continue to do so, as part of my destiny.

There I stood holding my shawl tight to warm my body, under the magic sky filled with stars flirting with me. God, I said: “What is my soulvision for this upcoming New Age?“ 

The answer was formed in my inner visions by stars fusing and building two words, made by the purest light of creation:


I know: 

In the subtle spheres our new life is already formed, invisibly filtering to us all the time. Looking up & ahead we see the larger picture, we can finally take a breath.

But this takes time take form, to filter, to come into matter and reality.

I promise to organically expand; to do this I need space to maneuver.
From these broader horizons we can direct our inner GPS toward our future, the new togetherness. Where inklings point, we go.
Let us become conscious observers of our own creations.


I bow to all of you.
I want to paint my gratitude on your doorsteps.
For reading and listening to me on all these years.
In times when I was lost in visions, when my overloaded 12th house was calling me away and times when I shared, always trying to be my best.

You were always with me.
I thank you so much.
I could never repay your dedication.

I will move on to a new space, fresh and innocent.
My idea is to start small and write about FEMININE SPIRITUALITY from scratch because I believe it has never existed. Shakti has faced opposition since the beginning of time.

Yes there are old seats of wisdom of the feminine, but they need a new design.

I am ready to stumble and fall, and begin the pilgrimage as it will be shown to me
and walk the path that is offered to me as mine.

I am ready to be surprised by the Divine. 

For you,
I wanted you to know.
And as soon find my new skin I will be in your inbox again.

See you there, shifting into happiness as it becomes unconditional.

With comfortable fierceness,


(I must say I cry now.)  Sniff. 


New love

My first love poem for dreaming the future


Louise Bourgeois, “I Do”

I am enough for you and even more.
I am the fulfillment of your desire.
When we melt
our universes give birth
to new stars.

I am your fulfillment
and you are mine.

We are free together.

Our love inspires.
Our love ripples and gives more love.

We desire and miss each other.

We separate and travel in different directions.
and are pulled back into the womb of home.

We unite, we melt; we fly free.

There is no other for us than us.

We are sacred companions and travel time.

I am enough for you and even more.
You honor the goddess in me.
In her beauty you find yourself.

I stoke the fire in you.

You want me to be with you.
I want you to be with me.

In your divinity I burn and I rise.



Because the real one makes all the difference.

You know I am obsessed with visions. Everything begins with a great vision. The earth needs them and we need them to build our world consciously. We need new solutions for the re-balance of society, earth and money.

But is there a difference between visions and visions?

Yes, there is.

Our visions and God realization

We are all born free; we are all divine.
God lives within us, waiting for us, keen to shine like crazy on who we really are.

We are also born with free will.
And mostly we are born to forget who we are.

Visions are there lead us to our God realization.
And to remember who we are.

There are two types of visions.


SELF-MADE IDEAS: The Plan B of Creation
We are able to create many things. We certainly can create visions and lay them on top of our relationship with God. But let me promise you, this is a limited venture. Self-made ideas are not visions; they are made by mind. The hunger will never end, because mind-ideas do not feed what you really crave, just like eating food that does not nourish you.

Self-made ideas have an expiration date. Too many mind-ideas created devastating pollution, the world money crisis, poverty and a particularly human kind of destructive distraction.


IDEAS FROM GOD: The Plan A of Creation
I once heard Donna Karan speaking about how her URBAN ZEN center in New York got started. At her turning point, after her beloved husband died of cancer, she was all alone with his atelier (who was an artist) in their home. The idea suddenly came to her, and was an “idea of God,” as she called it. “You know these kind of ideas!” she said.

This is an example of what I call the real visions. They are born in the heart of God and fallen from heaven. These visions belong to us and God is their promised keeper. The real visions serve you, the universe and humanity from the deepest desire.

Each moment of your life turns into a passion of love and fulfillment. Once you have felt it you know the particular satisfaction: you vibrate, you align, you know. Real visions carry you and you are carried. This is when we become a vessel of God, a channel for the divine.

These real visions will create a new world; in them you find your place and what you are really made for. We need many of them for healing, balance and new solutions.

You are entitled.
You owe it to yourself.
You were born with a vision.
You are desired.

We live in collective dream.

…time to remember.



Unlimited Love
Love pours into truth, truth is love
Love desires feelings, to feel is love
Love is the will of God, will is one with love
Love touches us, under the skin flows love
Love offers, she does not want anything but love
Love reaches territories where she has never been
Love asks, the answer is love
Love is where you come from, love is where I am
Love knows me, she knows where I come from
Love liberates me, freedom is love
Life is love, love is life
Love needs love to survive
Love is the will to love limitlessly.

*Poem from JESUS THE SEEDS OF CHRISTLIGHT, Volume 3 of the Sacred Series, coming out of the beyond next year.

Dear readers, wonderful souls:

I had my sabbatical, and it is always a big challenge to come back.
The right gateway must to be found, to re-enter.
But now I miss you so much that I’ve decided to come back.

I have been writing and will continue until this untamable book is complete.

JESUS THE SEEDS OF CHRISTLIGHT has taken me on a wild journey through time and memories; surprising and familiar glances into Universes and the discovery of the continents.

Here I am;
get prepared.
More is coming soon.
Visions of #soulgatherings 2015 are growing
and more surprises are taking shape.

You must know, I really missed you. I feel you all the time.

I love you,


Read More · November 13, 2014 · · most popular, offerings, visions & prayers


She fell in love with her crisis.
Her dreams from days confirmed. She is here for the greater good.
To leave this earth without mattering is not part of the agreement.
Traveling across her soul and the world.
She silently collects her shattered holiness.
A few pieces are left to return home.

Getting ready

For a higher purpose. A promise made.
The nature-force in the lead.
She now understands her rebellion was against an inner enemy.
She is a now-human, holding cosmopolitan pom-poms. She united the forgotten.
She dictates her world according her sacred rhythm.

Feminine Divine.

Beauty, a free sacred RED, a charming courier of hope, a naturalizer, a modern shaman, a cosmic nomad. She sits in the front row, her stage, her strength, her sweet seduction, her sacred voice, fierce, her Holy Grail.

SHE is a gypsy of the world tribe; she is a self-invented mystic. She is here and fierce and irresistible, she loves the deep purple of veins of the Universe, she inspires new generations, she is a leader who has come to inspire the future and change this world. She was born with a prophecy.

Till now she thought to herself, “who the hell do you think you are?”
But now she is on; the crisis is her call.

She knows: she is the cosmic nomad.
Everywhere is home. And nowhere.

She reaches out her tender hands to offer the sacred masculine.

She is you.



As we witness the uproar and troubled burning spots in our world, our desire to stay open to the existence awakens.

I live in both worlds: the dying and the eternal one. Do not measure me with limits; I cannot respond to them. Instead, I long to unite the worlds.

A precious message of eternity reaches our souls: the Patina of God.

It’s a reminder that life is present in the darkest days to sustain us through seasons of change. What’s considered ephemeral is sparkled with golden glitter, covering the aura of our oblivion.

I crave spiritual gold. Gold is my survival blanket, my ray of light that helps me resurrect memories to serve a bigger aim.

Eden sank so deep.
We need to dig deepest.
They say nothing gold can stay.
I do not believe so.
The glow of The Mother will never be extinguished.
Recurring rituals are an approval of life.
And behind beauty is always survival.

Reflecting on my own personal ethics, sustainability and my role in today’s world, I think we have to remember the traditional seats of wisdom. To open up to the Golden Age, we need the old-culture insights from all tribes to crossroad with multicultural disciplines.

Golden ideas include

: intentionally collecting ideas from an ancient tradition
: full-scale integration of recycling
: fostering organically grown material
: rescuing endangered know-how from extinction
: restoring imaginative skills
: cultivating communities
: growing ecosystems in every life area
: constructing bridges between cultures
: exploring new design ideas for the world community
: creating new markets

Gold is the color of the future.

In a chaotic age that still cannot find its way it can appear there is only one way forward: to take one single direction in one way or another. No. We have to merge the opposites and erase contrasts to embrace the idea of gold.

We’re crossing the threshold of a revised vision of universality and gold is our map into the future. It is not enough to recover past golden days. In the grounding of our intuition we reach the expansion of our mission.

We are modern Alchemists. And the future is dignified by fingers respectfully mending the broken pledges of care and commitment all around this world.

Be careful here: alchemists can be overly attached to the outcome. The attainment of gold is not important. Rather, the process is our point of power – understanding our part in co-creating our lives from inside out.

So listen to a flower, a butterfly, a fallen star. These are glimpses of the divine that mark the way forward.

Your golden blanket is the fabric of humanity with your stories embroidered on it.

Think Gold

: the paradox of future
: perennial nature of ideas
: high-value creativity
: a statement of your own rights
: value that endures
: rarity in abundance
: perseverance

Gold dye is sourced from Kobunsgasa, a Japanese grass.
To wit: Gold is the profit of GREEN.

For an initiation to the feeling, build a Pinterest board with the irrational instinctive aim of feeling total gold, Heaven online. Here’s mine:
After you have done this, will you share your board with me in the comments below?

Create golden projects.
I am infected. Gold forever.
YOUR FUTURE BOOK© is growing in my laboratory, and it sparkles.

Fanfarlo “Shiny Things”

Thank you to @katcsengo for inspiring my adventurous thoughts to think this.


Read More · June 21, 2013 · · most popular, visions & prayers


The Tao of Losing
I will lose it all.
My courage.
My control.
My temper.
My weight.
My money.
My morals.

I will be free. And
will be good.
I will be looked after.
Yes, yes, yes.

My blessings are out: May 2013 be your best ever. Positive change will bring new visions.
I will meet you there.

Wild love

Read More · December 30, 2012 · · most popular, visions & prayers


iced hearts 
sweet chestnut hearts with chocolate glaze.
both melt.

broken hearts
united hearts 

so much
almost everything 

tribe of sacred hearts
golden web of all

cosmic héroïnes & heroes 
brave hearts
funky hearts

trademarks of wildness
activists of passion

a red christmas tree ball glittered gold
a kiss blown

antidote for hate

the heartbeats stand still 
and marvel

my christmas wishes are for you. 

all woven in one love. 


Read More · December 23, 2012 · · most popular, offerings, visions & prayers


I know.
It has been 4 weeks.
I was out of space.
That happens to me from time to time.
But I am not sorry.

Dyana Valentine about not being sorry.

One thing you should know about me:
Have you heard about mystic visionaries?

Reminder of shining lights!

A mystic visionary is a seismograph for energies and universal waves. Spiritual themes that come from beyond our worldly boundaries. The visionary listens. She surrenders to the higher dimensions. She is a translator. She is a channel for the spiritual worlds. She works continuously on new translation programs to communicate the new energies. She knows that spiritual planes break through in unpredictable ways.

People think she is erratic. But in reality it’s her way of universal devotion. She loves God. She is a translator for the people, her wildness has to be untamable. She is rebellious and unconventional. It’s in her nature.

I am a visionary channel for our time.

I am a translator. It’s my life. I am grounded in heaven. I am constantly searching for a form to communicate a synchronic message and to transport multidimensional thoughts into linearity.

This journey has taken me far.

The signs of Now:

Mother Earth is right in the middle of a contraction.
She rebirths herself. The Earth gives birth in waves and Heaven is delivering in rhythms.

Gold is delivered to you:
The “dolce far niente” (Sweet doing nothing).

When Heaven meets Earth: just relax.
It’s a huge chance for our society if we are willing to open up to a new dimension. Right now we experience Earth’s labour. We are rebirthing with her. Flow with it. Rock with Earth’s waves. You don’t have to do any more.

My mystic visionary tool is stillness.
When I am gone, I listen.

The shift is on.
The vibration rises.

But I’m not idle while on my rollercoaster trip through the dimensions.
I can accomplish quite a lot:

: I bought a new Earth.
: I made some sacred Shakti fires to help the transformation of this new space
  and Mother Earth. I cried with witches and the collective pain of women.
: Through healing the land and a part of Mother Earth, I healed my self.
: I have set the wheels in motion for the creation of a Nature Spa.
: I have built several pages to give La Lumière a new home
(to be reveiled very soon).
: I redefined my relationship with La Lumière. Now we are clear.
  We have visions what future we want to belong to.
: I dreamed about spiritual leadership and Zeitgeist.
: I was in heaven: lost & found.
: I melted with Earth.
: I worked on a translator for my cosmic language.
: I received and I collected.

Darling, I love you more than ever.
Remember: We are one.
Even though, now and then I am not here.
Nobody home.

But take this promise:
I will always come back.
With fierce love.
And a new vision.



I love to walk and inhale nature in my flesh and bones. I talk to nature, it is natural for me. She who is continuously awake talks back. Consciousness always agrees. These words were given to me during my beach walk in Florida.

Nature asked me:
“Let them know I will never harm my children.”
I listened.


Read More · February 25, 2012 · · most popular, visions & prayers