February, 2012 | The Female Grail with Durga Holzhauser
February, 2012


A manifesto of quitting for
a new beginning.

Following up things I have given to the bankrupt estate of my past lives:

: I have been in the arena of fights with the toughest shadows. Uhhhh. I cannot deny I was frightened to death. I was willed to re-conquer my power, free to fight till the end.

: I have forgiven. Shameless. Like the sea that embraces all. Have set my prisoners free and felt love for their pain. I have forgiven my Self.

: I have fallen apart thousand times. I know I can get back on stage.

: I have embraced my mother, healing in her arms.

: I have embraced my father, feeling secure, beyond wanting.

: I have listened to much good advice.

: I was touched by many wonderful divine healers.

: I have cried with my stone child.

: I was obsessed with being frozen, and frozen in my endless traumas.

: I have created thunders of anger.

Now it’s enough. Sold out.
Shakti is powerful in her vulnerability. Strength.

The goddess of pain is the doorkeeper of our wholeness. She blows directly into our velvet belly and disturbs our dreamless soul. We take each other home.

:I am soft & :I am really tough
:I am highly vulnerable (ouch) & :I am invincible
:I am fluffy & :I am repellent

I am alive. I live. I am in love with live’s stories.
Here starts the manifesto of life.



I love to walk and inhale nature in my flesh and bones. I talk to nature, it is natural for me. She who is continuously awake talks back. Consciousness always agrees. These words were given to me during my beach walk in Florida.

Nature asked me:
“Let them know I will never harm my children.”
I listened.


Read More · February 25, 2012 · · most popular, visions & prayers



I am passionately visioning these days. I flirt with ideas from the streaming golden light of a new world. The spark from heaven in my core was caressed by a rough blowing wind and is inflamed. I have fired up evocations and pray. I conjure God, the creator, within me to guide me, in eternity.

I miss the feminine leadership values. I remember inklings and something deep unknown and long forgotten. Nothing fits any more. My wayfinder (I sing aboriginal songs—loud—inside while I walk) is linked to the world of souls.

Facing the lion, being the lion.
The world situation room.

We have created a society of unbalanced bigness of masculine power and feminine smallness. The masculine overdoses are “breaking apart” (for me a masculine semeiotic). The sacred feminine, on the contrary, knows about the wounded rhythm of sparking, distinguishing and relighting of ideas, projects, businesses, dogmas. She witnesses with a broken heart. The feminine is awakening, rubbing eyes from a thousand years in sleeping beauty. She just slept, she was never gone. (more…)


fired up & inspired by Danielle LaPorte

I want my day to feel like just shaken bottle of rose Champagne inside sparkling love bubbles.

I want kissing to feel like St. Emilion red wine melting on my lips.

I want my next success to feel like Ghandi when he won his nonviolent revolution.

I want my body to feel like immanent power flow in the yoga warrior positions.

I want smiling to feel like exhaling rose scent.

I want my friendships to feel like dusting flower pollen tickling in the nose, honey, sacred heart in flames, a summer night fiesta in south france.
I want my nervous system to feel like warm golden sacred oil flooding my skin.

I want my gigs to feel like dancing in the center of a vortex, the eye of a tiger, shaking hands with everyone, with the mesmerizing love of Jesus.
I want my neighborhood to feel like a juicy ashram life.

I want my integrity to feel like grace.

I want my money-making to feel like a river that finds his sea.
I want my word to feel like a sword forged of love.

I want my laughter to feel like a belly tickled by sunshine.

I want the end of the day to feel like mother earth when she rests in the arm of the stars.

I want being of service to feel like a cornucopia.
I want my philanthropy to feel like the dancing Durga showering peaceful Shakti.
I want my challenges to feel like my greatest opportunities.
I want my love to feel like a daily honoring each other.
I want my writing to feel like a kiss of the muse, forgetting my self, surfing on stardust.
I want my ideas to feel like being irresistible.

Danielle LaPorte’s firestarter sessions was my initial start for thefemalegrail.com
“I just think it’s fucking hot.” …
I did not need more to kindle the sacred fire.

Her Q’s are shaping the diamond and brings the YES I WANT & YES I KNOW HOW to the surface.
The burning Q’s are essential. I did them. I recommend them to all my friends & clients.




One Self of me is a mystic. I would say a very powerful quality of mine is being a mystic. But she is stigmatized. I hid her in shame for years, nevertheless meeting her secretly in dark corners, proud of her burning truth of never leaving herself and being true to herself without any sign of shame. Always wanting to know more about the adventures she experienced on her own.

mystic (ˈmɪstɪk) — n
a person who achieves mystical experience or an apprehension of divine mysteries


I have hidden my mystic for years. She was eccentric and not suitable for a flock that wanted to create rules and fit-in’s for mediocrity. I was ashamed for her because she is different.

By learning to live in a harmonious environment with my soul I have re-socialized my mystic soul. Now she lives in a flock with my cosmic nomad, my 21st century goddess, my eccentric super player networker charmer, my really shy looser, my laughter and my multicultural artist soul. (more…)


we are healing inside.
heaven & earth are melting within.

give birth to your soul.

chaos outside. 
transformers wait.
resting inside.

everything will make perfect sense.

give yourself room.
pray. heal. take each other home.
trusting the beauty.

Photo: Georgia O’Keefe

Read More · February 3, 2012 · · most popular, visions & prayers