June, 2013 | The Female Grail with Durga Holzhauser
June, 2013


My name is Durga.
It’s my spiritual name.
I am named after the great mother goddess of India.

The tales in India say that Durga manifested herself out of the light of the Mother of All when the Gods prayed for revelation. The Gods of the demons had enslaved all worlds and the Gods of light were powerless. They had lost their empires of light to the Demons and wandered around the Earth helpless and forgotten. The praying Gods blessed Durga’s appearance with weapons they gifted to her. Durga killed the Demon king and restored the worlds of light.

In India worshipers praise Durga for her glory. She is a warrior goddess who protects the children of the light. She is the Goddess of empowerment who transcends the loose, lost power game.

I am weaving golden files of recycled stories

I weave my own fantasies. A thread of stainless steel and transparent glass pearls are the beginning of the memories.

My version of the Durga tale:

The war went on. Nobody noticed that the Gods and world of Light were infected. Their thoughts began to cloud over and create demons themselves covered in luminous armors. Uncontrolled thoughts took on a life of their own and perpetuated the war against darkness.

Durga fought on the side of light to protect the children of light. After all, this was her promise since she was created. The war was the worst in the history of the universe but Durga was invincible in the midst of devastating attacks between light and darkness. Her style, her battlefield. But the sound of the war endured so long it seemed to be the sound of the universe. Loud and destructive. The death of endlessness would not cure the tears of the mothers.

In the worst battle of all, Durga suddenly stopped and stood still while bombs and destructive arms danced around her in an evil Tango. Still, she was not afraid of being hit. She watched the children of light and the children of dark brutally destroying the creation. She saw God in both. She shivered at what had happened to the children of the light: those she was fighting for had become the same slaughterers they feared. “This war will never end, it will destroy everything,” she said, and she walked out of battle with her weapons lowered in desperation.

Furious and full of anger Durga headed to the throne of God and banged her forehead on the crystal stairs so they splintered and instantly, perfectly reassembled themselves. (God thinks himself complete no matter what happens.)

“I know you hear me, God father. This war is eternal. We will never find a way out of fighting and killing the other side. The pain of the mothers will never be healed. The temptation to fight hatred with rage has won over creation.”

God’s throne stayed silent and calmed Durga’s answerless soul. When she looked up a beautiful man walked out of the eternal light, one she had never seen before. He was no God, no angel, no demon.

Durga fainted. This feeling was the most beautiful she had ever experienced. Blissfully inhaling pure beauty, she was healed.

“This is my son. He is my love.”

Love, uttered Durga for endless ages.

“Is this the solution out of this war, father?”


“I want you to teach me love, father.”

“Are you sure you want this?”


Durga rose.

“This is the most difficult initiation path you can walk. You will experience the worst and I will ask you again and again: Do you still love?”

“This is my path.”

Durga was sure. If there was any chance to end the war between light and darkness, she would walk the path.

Durga did it then and she still does.

She walks the path of love.

The curtain falls.
This one ends for now. As I recycle my stories the way they come to me I ask myself what I want to be today, I who am named after Durga.

I made a decision. I walk back to the battlefield. What we have once left we must take up and weave the story till it’s complete.

I draft my manifesto:

I am back.
I will neither stand for the children of light nor for the children of darkness.

I ask the children of light to remember the eternal traditions that have always nourished our souls. I have no patience.

I ask the children of darkness to end the ignorance and remember the will that carries us all in beauty. I have no time.

We know what belongs to us.
Our world needs us all.
Let us end the war.
Now or never.
Everyone is at risk.
Anything can happen to the beloved characters and to the evil ones.

(This is why we love Game of Thrones.
The good guys do not always win.)

What do we do when we face two good paths?
Will we honor keeping our world or let our inner demons win?


I carry my name with pride.
I am back on stage.
I love you.

Dear you, tell me – do you like my fantasy stories? My fantasies have many more chapters. Would you like to read more of my endless repertoires? Then I will count on your comments below to fire me up. As always I write for you because I love to, and your comments help me to come closer.

Love always



Read More · June 30, 2013 · · fiercely feminine, most popular


As we witness the uproar and troubled burning spots in our world, our desire to stay open to the existence awakens.

I live in both worlds: the dying and the eternal one. Do not measure me with limits; I cannot respond to them. Instead, I long to unite the worlds.

A precious message of eternity reaches our souls: the Patina of God.

It’s a reminder that life is present in the darkest days to sustain us through seasons of change. What’s considered ephemeral is sparkled with golden glitter, covering the aura of our oblivion.

I crave spiritual gold. Gold is my survival blanket, my ray of light that helps me resurrect memories to serve a bigger aim.

Eden sank so deep.
We need to dig deepest.
They say nothing gold can stay.
I do not believe so.
The glow of The Mother will never be extinguished.
Recurring rituals are an approval of life.
And behind beauty is always survival.

Reflecting on my own personal ethics, sustainability and my role in today’s world, I think we have to remember the traditional seats of wisdom. To open up to the Golden Age, we need the old-culture insights from all tribes to crossroad with multicultural disciplines.

Golden ideas include

: intentionally collecting ideas from an ancient tradition
: full-scale integration of recycling
: fostering organically grown material
: rescuing endangered know-how from extinction
: restoring imaginative skills
: cultivating communities
: growing ecosystems in every life area
: constructing bridges between cultures
: exploring new design ideas for the world community
: creating new markets

Gold is the color of the future.

In a chaotic age that still cannot find its way it can appear there is only one way forward: to take one single direction in one way or another. No. We have to merge the opposites and erase contrasts to embrace the idea of gold.

We’re crossing the threshold of a revised vision of universality and gold is our map into the future. It is not enough to recover past golden days. In the grounding of our intuition we reach the expansion of our mission.

We are modern Alchemists. And the future is dignified by fingers respectfully mending the broken pledges of care and commitment all around this world.

Be careful here: alchemists can be overly attached to the outcome. The attainment of gold is not important. Rather, the process is our point of power – understanding our part in co-creating our lives from inside out.

So listen to a flower, a butterfly, a fallen star. These are glimpses of the divine that mark the way forward.

Your golden blanket is the fabric of humanity with your stories embroidered on it.

Think Gold

: the paradox of future
: perennial nature of ideas
: high-value creativity
: a statement of your own rights
: value that endures
: rarity in abundance
: perseverance

Gold dye is sourced from Kobunsgasa, a Japanese grass.
To wit: Gold is the profit of GREEN.

For an initiation to the feeling, build a Pinterest board with the irrational instinctive aim of feeling total gold, Heaven online. Here’s mine:
After you have done this, will you share your board with me in the comments below?

Create golden projects.
I am infected. Gold forever.
YOUR FUTURE BOOK© is growing in my laboratory, and it sparkles.

Fanfarlo “Shiny Things”

Thank you to @katcsengo for inspiring my adventurous thoughts to think this.


Read More · June 21, 2013 · · most popular, visions & prayers


How to know which vision to go for.

Right now we get the craziest ideas just before falling asleep or just upon waking. The veils are thinner since we called for new visions for this earth. The web of life is knitting a lot of yarn. We are exposed to a vision shower. Ideas pop down from heaven like comets of grace. It’s a universe overdose.

My brain feels like a blackjack jackpot. My visions are sketched out in a two-year plan that lives an Evernote folder called “New Visions.” I will focus on writing “Write Your Future Book” for three months and translate it into English, launch it in October while planning “Write Your Future Book Live” (days of high-voltage creation in May 2014) and a women’s conference in 2015: SHE EXPLODES HER UNIVERSE. I decided I want it all.

However, some of our ideas take years to come true, even longer than the lifetime of our desires. Without obligation to lifelines (my word for deadlines), they can take ages to mature, like grapes on a good vine. And some never come to fruition and burn down like shooting stars.

See, ideas are manifest creation and flow freely. Ideas can fly as free agents, but some visions have destinies that are bound inextricably to our own. Heavenly ideas are made with purpose: their goal is realization.

Cool your smoking brain.
Let me show you how to systematize soulfully and identify ideas for hot pursuit.

Your Status Quo Manifestation Map

Here’s a piece of business advice for your idea. Start by picking the right one at the right time. Put the others into a waiting line.

You need:
: blank paper
: a pen
: a space open to you and your soul
: 20 minutes for you and your pleasure

Where is your idea right now? This exercise helps to locate where a vision is in the Universe and follow its destiny.

The process:

: Get clear on which idea you want to locate. Take it one at a time. Give it a symbol, a name or initials. For example, for YOUR FUTURE BOOK, I use #YFB.

: Draw a circle to symbolize mother Earth in the center of the paper.
Make it as round as she is.

: At the top of the sheet, draw a symbol for heaven, God, the throne of God, the Universe, the higher source. I like to use a crown as my symbol. Leave enough space for your visions in between heaven and mother Earth.

: Bring your idea into your mind. Now move your awareness to your belly. Check the feeling and instinctively put the pen on the sheet where the idea is right now. Draw your idea there.

: Where is the idea? It might still be up in the Universe, down on earth, or somewhere in between. The degree of its closeness to earth will give you information about whether it is wise to:

: wait
: get it going, or
: address what is there to do before you can start making it real.

(When I first did this while finding a publisher for Jesus The Book & The Series it opened my eyes. The book was right in the middle between heaven and earth. I was able to understand: You must wait, the seeds are still sprouting in mother Universe.)

:: Ask: who supports this idea? Who helps you?
: Draw your spiritual guides on the sheet. You will feel their support.
: Draw the people who support this idea on the sheet. Where are they?
: Feel the energy of how they support you and write it on the sheet.

There is nothing to manipulate or change.
Ideas grow naturally.
Observing the status quo is eavesdropping on the sounds of growth.

(I see spiritual support for my books. Some first followers and helpers for Jesus The Book & The Series are in North America. My best business advice was to expand my love across continents. This is the beginning. New York twinkles.)

: Now write, draw or paint whatever else comes to your mind that is important to know. Analyze the insight. Receive.

You can do a Status Quo Manifestation Map for each idea. It will show you if an idea is growing nearby or off in the distance. You can also ask about time and note it on your sheet. When will this idea start to manifest? When is the time to plan, concretize and ship it?

I wish you a lot of fun with this; it is a really effective method.
Just in case, some images to help spark your imagination.

My Status Quo Manifestation Map for the #YFB