CLARIFY WHAT REALLY COUNTS. | The Female Grail with Durga Holzhauser



In her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware records the most common regrets of the dying.

: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself,
  not the life others expected of me.

: I wish I didn’t work so hard.

: I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

: I wish that I had let myself be happier.

The message: get it done before regrets get you. This woke me up.

We are often discouraged from thinking or talking about death. But believe that the skin between life and death is thin and tender. On the other side there is eternity and home, a subtle light without want. God’s voice intones everywhere. We are driven by a personal relationship with Him and Her: in our lightbody we know about it all, even if our minds do not remember.

Do not fear endings. Death is the other face of passion.

For me, the other side is part of my existence. I have been there. “Two weeks later and you would be dead,” said the surgeon after bringing me back from the edge of death. I was 18, and I had seen the other side. Since then I live differently. I want to be able to die any day saying: “I have done all I wanted. I am totally full.”

I want to life every day like my last. The presence of that conviction is beauty to my bold soul.

Preparing for death clarifies my life and what I really want to achieve. In the face of death everything gains new meaning.

Digest the feast of life.
The map for 2014

Before I make my yearly plans I do my most powerful ritual, “Before I die I want to…” I was first inspired by Candy Chang, who placed huge black chalkboards in neglected public spaces with the same question for people to answer anonymously.

I calibrated the exercise a bit and do this for myself at each year’s end. The darkness of the winter is my realm. For me death is a part of life, so I plan as if the next year will be my last.

Certainly I keep dreams for decades in my pocket but I do not plan for more than one with a schedule. The rest of my dreams float free of timetables and give me hope to live long enough to fulfill them; they are the endorphins of my soul goals.

Only two tips

: 3 things to fulfill in one year is enough.

Narrow your list down to the hopes that come from the deepest part of your soul. Go one layer deeper, then another layer deeper, then one more layer. Less is more; fewer means you’re serious.

I aim for one achievement of my life dedicated to each of my holy trinity: Braham the eternal but not understandable, Vishnu the preserver, and Shiva, the creator and destroyer. May the divinity eat the fruits of my life. My reward is the scent of their contentment.

: Leave space for unexpected.

God is crazy with love; he will never bore you. Once you walk the way of bliss, creation answers with joy. So make space for possibility beyond bargaining; the genius of all. Let the planned be spoiled by the joy.

and one rule:

: My last shirt will have no pockets.

I want to do things I can carry on to eternity, just tons of memories of heavy love.

My list
list durga

Tell me, my dear friend. Write it down for us.

Before I die I want to do these 3 things…

Wild love



December 15, 2013 · · illuminated lifestyle, most popular