DECEMBER 21 RESCUE KIT. THE MOVEMENT. JUST IN CASE | The Female Grail with Durga Holzhauser


The Mayans said:
There will be no December 22.

Unless my clairvoyance cheats or fails me these days, naysaysers will win the race. If Emmerich’s film 2012 is not just Hollywood’s Armageddon style we definitely need a Plan B.

But just in case the apocalypse is impending, let us benefit from the last days of humanity as we know it and do what we never before dared to do.

Are you ready for the end of this world?
I am not.

Imagine. What will you do when tomorrow is not an option? If we do not have to consider with flabbergasted terror the prospect of future remorse, we can do anything. Guilt becomes obsolete because the future is unavailable.

My advice: go crazy. Unleash your limits and write down what you would never dare to do. Take the best and embrace the feeling. Sometimes the worst will bring out the best in us.

I asked myself what I would do on December 20th, just in case I never have the chance again. Here are my choices.

: Meet the last days of this world in my pajamas.

: Pray that all spuriousness and disingenuity should die.

: Call all my friends to tell them how much I love them, forgetting about small and big squabbles. We will meet again in heaven, on other planets, in the newest bars on Alpha 33, a star, an apple cloud. We swear to one another that this is not the end. Know that we will be back.

: Kiss my love and know we will always meet again. Jesus times are all times.

: Suffer all day. Embrace the luxury of poisoning my existence with bad habits that usually have no muse to support them amid all my productive idea-spotting and fiery inspirations for life. Finally hang out with no hope for future moods. Wash away all my “save this world” crap with Champagne. Finally there will be no Golden Age to build on anymore. It will perish anyway. So, good. Feel bad without excuses.

: Doff the future. Attempting to control it is too exhausting anyway. Buddha happiness for the ultimate sale.

: For half an hour play the cashier lady at the supermarket saying: “It’s all free today: a gift from our company: we want you to be happy.”

: Loosely hang out in Goldberg Variations by Glenn Gould . Too good memoirs with my solitude. Maybe memories will survive.

: Buy up all remaining stocks of Champagne. Call UPS and send it worldwide to people disadvantaged by life. Before everything breaks down we will meet on Skype and toast a better day and kiss the exploitive assholes goodbye. No worries about the costs. No future means no maxed out credit cards. Fuck my bank account.

: Order 7 billion wings of hope. May every soul fly directly to heaven.

: Modify my body with tattoos. Just in case the world does still stand on December 22, I will take precautions and get them from In an impermanent world, there is no need for anything permanent.

: Celebrate my bad taste.
Fish and chips in London, a feast of saturated fats, carbohydrates, calories. Maybe the English have a stylish way to break down our last will.

: I will fall away from faith and make a personal Gangnam video for my obituary. I’ll listen to Justin Bieber and post it. May the after-comers wonder about my sabotaged culture.
Ruined, lost, broken.

: Plan my trip for the next life. The other day a quote inspired me:

“Imagine this: A group of African children, in from the unlimited horizon and the green steppe. One says: ‘The children of America are forced to spend 8 hours sitting in classrooms, then they are drugged when they move too much to make too much noise, and their primary source of entertainment is the television.’
The other one answers: ‘That’s horrible! We should take up donations.’”

I plan to incarnate with the mind of an earthy child and jam to the rhythm of a new earth.

: Be restlessly kind.

: Spring for debauchery without end. When I meet God and he says, “We have to talk about your dossier,” I will say, “Shit happens. May I have another chance, Boss?”

: Host a Harry Potter extended-version last supper with my friend and pretend we have the Imperio spell to save the world with our awakened magic.

: Ask you to write your ideas in the Facebook box below. We will collect your ideas and there will be an afterparty in heaven with the best ideas. So go! What is your last will and idea? Write it out now.


In the end I hold with my Astrologer Silke Schäfer. She is always so positive. I stick with that.

“From December 13 on, Uranus is in the sign of Aries rounding forwards. The planet of future and Intuition, Uranus was running a backwards loop for five months. Now it goes forwards. New perspectives can show up. Velocity rises. Creative energy is in the air. And all this in combination with the Sagittarius – a new moon around 09h41 MEZ. (All in all, a new beginning.) Go for it!”

Inventing the power of the end.
Everythingism of the nows unleashes the tensions.
When the world stands still the limits of our mind brake,
facing the last liberated freedom.

Live each day as if it will be the last.
In so doing,
increase aliveness.

I love you.

December 17, 2012 · · most popular