DURGA, THE GODDESS REVISITED. | The Female Grail with Durga Holzhauser


My name is Durga.
It’s my spiritual name.
I am named after the great mother goddess of India.

The tales in India say that Durga manifested herself out of the light of the Mother of All when the Gods prayed for revelation. The Gods of the demons had enslaved all worlds and the Gods of light were powerless. They had lost their empires of light to the Demons and wandered around the Earth helpless and forgotten. The praying Gods blessed Durga’s appearance with weapons they gifted to her. Durga killed the Demon king and restored the worlds of light.

In India worshipers praise Durga for her glory. She is a warrior goddess who protects the children of the light. She is the Goddess of empowerment who transcends the loose, lost power game.

I am weaving golden files of recycled stories

I weave my own fantasies. A thread of stainless steel and transparent glass pearls are the beginning of the memories.

My version of the Durga tale:

The war went on. Nobody noticed that the Gods and world of Light were infected. Their thoughts began to cloud over and create demons themselves covered in luminous armors. Uncontrolled thoughts took on a life of their own and perpetuated the war against darkness.

Durga fought on the side of light to protect the children of light. After all, this was her promise since she was created. The war was the worst in the history of the universe but Durga was invincible in the midst of devastating attacks between light and darkness. Her style, her battlefield. But the sound of the war endured so long it seemed to be the sound of the universe. Loud and destructive. The death of endlessness would not cure the tears of the mothers.

In the worst battle of all, Durga suddenly stopped and stood still while bombs and destructive arms danced around her in an evil Tango. Still, she was not afraid of being hit. She watched the children of light and the children of dark brutally destroying the creation. She saw God in both. She shivered at what had happened to the children of the light: those she was fighting for had become the same slaughterers they feared. “This war will never end, it will destroy everything,” she said, and she walked out of battle with her weapons lowered in desperation.

Furious and full of anger Durga headed to the throne of God and banged her forehead on the crystal stairs so they splintered and instantly, perfectly reassembled themselves. (God thinks himself complete no matter what happens.)

“I know you hear me, God father. This war is eternal. We will never find a way out of fighting and killing the other side. The pain of the mothers will never be healed. The temptation to fight hatred with rage has won over creation.”

God’s throne stayed silent and calmed Durga’s answerless soul. When she looked up a beautiful man walked out of the eternal light, one she had never seen before. He was no God, no angel, no demon.

Durga fainted. This feeling was the most beautiful she had ever experienced. Blissfully inhaling pure beauty, she was healed.

“This is my son. He is my love.”

Love, uttered Durga for endless ages.

“Is this the solution out of this war, father?”


“I want you to teach me love, father.”

“Are you sure you want this?”


Durga rose.

“This is the most difficult initiation path you can walk. You will experience the worst and I will ask you again and again: Do you still love?”

“This is my path.”

Durga was sure. If there was any chance to end the war between light and darkness, she would walk the path.

Durga did it then and she still does.

She walks the path of love.

The curtain falls.
This one ends for now. As I recycle my stories the way they come to me I ask myself what I want to be today, I who am named after Durga.

I made a decision. I walk back to the battlefield. What we have once left we must take up and weave the story till it’s complete.

I draft my manifesto:

I am back.
I will neither stand for the children of light nor for the children of darkness.

I ask the children of light to remember the eternal traditions that have always nourished our souls. I have no patience.

I ask the children of darkness to end the ignorance and remember the will that carries us all in beauty. I have no time.

We know what belongs to us.
Our world needs us all.
Let us end the war.
Now or never.
Everyone is at risk.
Anything can happen to the beloved characters and to the evil ones.

(This is why we love Game of Thrones.
The good guys do not always win.)

What do we do when we face two good paths?
Will we honor keeping our world or let our inner demons win?


I carry my name with pride.
I am back on stage.
I love you.

Dear you, tell me – do you like my fantasy stories? My fantasies have many more chapters. Would you like to read more of my endless repertoires? Then I will count on your comments below to fire me up. As always I write for you because I love to, and your comments help me to come closer.

Love always



June 30, 2013 · · fiercely feminine, most popular