REINVENTING THE HEROINE INSIDE/Part 2: THE MYSTIC | The Female Grail with Durga Holzhauser



One Self of me is a mystic. I would say a very powerful quality of mine is being a mystic. But she is stigmatized. I hid her in shame for years, nevertheless meeting her secretly in dark corners, proud of her burning truth of never leaving herself and being true to herself without any sign of shame. Always wanting to know more about the adventures she experienced on her own.

mystic (ˈmɪstɪk) — n
a person who achieves mystical experience or an apprehension of divine mysteries


I have hidden my mystic for years. She was eccentric and not suitable for a flock that wanted to create rules and fit-in’s for mediocrity. I was ashamed for her because she is different.

By learning to live in a harmonious environment with my soul I have re-socialized my mystic soul. Now she lives in a flock with my cosmic nomad, my 21st century goddess, my eccentric super player networker charmer, my really shy looser, my laughter and my multicultural artist soul.

My qualities have agreed to rule the seasons of my live, as they all believe in the wholeness of each other. It was and—still is—an every day learning.

Here is the reason why my inner mystic danced in ecstatic joy when I read this quote of Martha Beck. She knew then she exits.

Martha Beck says there are four kinds of women:
1. Women who choose career over family.
2. Women who choose family over career.
3. Women who choose family and career.
4. Women who are ‘mystics,’ those who choose any combination of the three and who follow their own path drowning out all the other choices.

In the middle of another mystic attack, these words have me speechless. A mystic who made her career out of it. No children. Get me right I adore them madly! But my soul had chosen another path this time.

The season of introverts/Winter mystics:
Your journey is calling

When she rules my universe she often withdraws in introversion. Not always: only when she collects. She is obsessed by collections. She is without words. She discovers entrances into God’s spaces everywhere. She scents, she observes, she listens, she feels. She gets lost in weaving stories. The whole creation is her sensual home. Rested in silence everything makes sense for her. With every sensation she liberates her connection with me, the earthy limited expression of her unlimited editions. She creates evidence with a glimpse of an eye. The mystic soul talks to God and liberates time and space. When she is breathing softly, I can feel me.

The mystic is obsessed by:

The mystic loves to fly with flocks and build nests. Inside and outside. She is inspired by congregating and sharing. She loves to initiate local moments and artistic weaving. She looses herself in her rituals of courting for the divine and making unique patterns of softness. She loves feathers and their unique texture. Nests are the best home for our souls.

Changing ones life once again
Always to the better! Promise!

She gives shelter to inside spaces
She loves to fly free in our chakras, the landscape of colors and ones soul.
(I mediate on my Chakras right now every day. Each day I dive intensively into one universe inside.)

Recurring patterns of revival
My inner mystic soul has taken me back to the past and to discontinued university studies in philosophy. I am re-reading Helene Cisoux (who is reigniting the passion for a lost feminine semiotic) and Gaston Bachelard (for the soul of confessions). She ties up loose ends.

Textures & refused shapes
Touch, touch, touch. The skin. The feathers. The water. The air.
And feel: “God is in the detail.” (Mies van der Rohe)

Seas of burning Candles

Endless talks at night
to her to powerful goddess souls sisters: The goddess of inspiration & the goddess of vision.

The art of introverts

My mystic soul loves

Green smoothies,
Fresh carrot/celery/apple juices
Sea salt peelings
Organic facial masks
Yoga to feel her body
Walks to feel nature in flesh and in her bones

I am convinced each woman has a powerful mystic soul. She may be buried under obligations, have to’s, missing no-no’s, selling out herself, believing that “not being permanent-online” is a loss.

Believe the mystic, she is a real teacher! She knows the secret of evolution of life that occurs to you instead of hunting in the dark.

Go sister!
Unknot the ties of inner slavery.

Go sister, fly!

Freedom is yours, beauty.


cara says:

looks like we are both flying the same route!
thank you dear durga for your encouragement!
much love

shahieda says:

hi,Durga last week i read on your website green smoothies,and wonder where can i find a resept,as i want to try from today for 3days going green,thank you angel sending it the right moment.

wow thank you,yes i believe i can fly,thanks for your encourangement

Jenn Poniatowski says:

Thank you dear Durga for this, so beautiful and inspiring! I so look forward to your writings here. Each time a new opening, always perfect timing. Love to you.

Kim says:

Your description of a mystic just touched my soul. Thank you. And, the JLS video brought back so many memories. I loved, loved, loved that soundtrack and still do.


[…] independent entrepreneurs who will embody the change. The cracks are open to receive the vision. The mystic visionaries are back on earth. We have de-dusted our monastery withdrawal; we are back to serve the change with our abilities. We […]

[…] independent entrepreneurs who will embody the change. The cracks are open to receive the vision. The mystic visionaries are back on earth. We have de-dusted our monastery withdrawal; we are back to serve the change with our abilities. We […]